Leadership

Construction: Building Community (Part One: The Architect’s Plan)

By jgiroux ⋅ January 1, 2009 ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

This is Part 3 of the Construction series on Thursday Leadership Lesson- Building Community. Last semester, we talked about laying a solid Foundation. This semester, we are focusing on the skills and resources needed to build teams, ministries, and groups. It’s about making disciples.

The word “community” gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? How transparent should we be? Do we need to play more or pray more? The answers to those questions will change depending on the purpose of the group, the amount of time the group has been together, and the personality of the leader.

Community creation is both an art and a science that requires an architect. As the leader of a small group, you must play the role of that architect or find someone on your team that can help you create an environment in which Biblical community can thrive.

Biblical Community

What is Biblical community? John Hasler wrote a challenging series of posts on Christian community during the month of May (you can read them here, here, here, and here). Here are some verses to consider:

Community is about being completely involved in the lives of others:

“And all the believers met together constantly and shared everything with each other, selling their possessions and dividing with those in need. They worshiped together regularly at the Temple and met daily in their homes.” Acts 2:44-46

Community is about serving one another:

“For you have been called to live in freedom—not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’.” Galatians 5:13-14

Community is about loving one another and being known by that love:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

Community is about sacrificing yourself for others:

“This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” John 14:12-13

Community is about sharing your life with others:

“We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8

Before building community, the architect must first draw out his designs. He must make a set of drawings or blueprints that will define the materials, communicate the measurements, and establish the perimeters. We must begin with the end in mind- what should the community in our group look like?

Relational Spaces

Before we try to create community, we need to understand the different levels of community and identify what type of community we are trying to create. In the book, The Search to Belong, Joseph Myers outlines four spaces of community- public, social, personal, and intimate. Understanding those four spaces will help us create the appropriate type and level of community for the groups we lead.

• Public Space- connection through common, external forces and experiences. There is a level of community that is based on being in the same place at the same time for the same purpose. Fans in a football stadium or people at a mall share public space. Shoppers in a grocery line share public space. At NCC, public space is found at weekend services. There is a level of community experienced by people when they share common experiences.

• Social Space- connection through common interest. An alumni association, civic organization, and many workplace environments facilitate social space. A level of community is experienced as people share hobbies and vocational interests. At NCC, social space is found at Catacombs events, Marriage Matters, Super Bowl parties, and Alpha.

• Personal Space- connection through the sharing of private experiences, feelings, and thoughts. Many of the people you would consider to be your friends share personal space with you. At NCC, many people find personal space in small groups.

• Intimate Space- connection through the sharing of naked experiences, feelings, and thoughts. A typical person shares intimate space with only a handful of people over the course of their entire lives. This space is reserved for spouses, family members, and the closest of friends.

In general, small groups tend to start in social space and move to personal space. Some people try to create intimate space in groups, but intimate space is not something that can be assigned or manufactured. Intimate space must occur naturally, so in most cases it should not be the goal of an NCC small group. However, NCC small groups should facilitate the creation of intimate space. In other words, if you lead a group of 12 people, you should not try to create intimate space for that entire group. However, 3 men within the group may form an accountability group with one another that meets outside the group context. That is intimate space that was found within the context of the group.

Understanding these four spaces can also help you establish a healthy rhythm for your group. While you may share “personal space” as a group, you still need to experience “public space” times as a group. If you are only sharing deep, personal thoughts and needs with one another at a weekly meeting, then your group will quickly become artificial and stale. You need to ensure that you are doing life together by playing together in public and social space, as well. Have parties. Go to dinner. Watch movies. Play games. Think of creative things to do as a group to build community by moving people through the different relational spaces that are appropriate for your group.

On the other hand, if the group spends too much time in public space, you should guide them into deeper, more transparent relational spaces. This could involve activities like history-sharing (asking individuals to tell their life stories), breaking down into smaller groups for prayer, asking more feeling and application oriented questions, and implementing spiritual disciplines such as confession and accountability.

Two final comments about intimate space:

Within the context of discipleship, intimate space should only be shared with people of the same gender.

A few groups may find that they will create specific types of intimate space for a defined and temporary period of time. For instance, a group that is focused on healing from sexual and relational brokenness will certainly foster a level of sharing that would be considered intimate, but it is for a defined purpose and defined period of time.

Take the Lead

Every person who comes into your group will have an expectation of what type of community they will find. Some are looking for public space. Some are looking for intimate space. As the leader, you must determine what space your group is in and what space your group should be in. Here are some ideas for application:

• Talk to your zone leader or team leader about this issue– tell them what relational space your group holds and where you would like them to be by the end of the semester.
• Evaluate your balance of depth and play. Do you need to pray more or play more?
• Talk to your group about relational spaces and ask them where they think the group is and where they would like it to be. You may be surprised by the results!

About The Author: Heather Z. is the Pastor of Discipleship at National Community Church in Washington, DC.